This time it’s me and not the wind!

“I could create Queen sequel-2 with my experience now”, I said to myself when I was in that  city trying my best to survive every moment that passed by. No, none ditched me really or maybe I got ditched. For once in life, I took that risk and travelled that far with the slightest hope of re-establishing that connection. Connection? We shared a “telepathic connection”, as he called it.

Three long years or four since I knew him and I had lost it completely, yes I loved him in the most pure and selfless way one can or atleast I could. When I met him there (the place where our friendship blossomed) he was in a relationship and I knew what was right for me, and I thought the feelings, the infatuation had all dissolved in the friendship we shared, but sigh I was wrong. And it took me another year after we parted that I realised or accepted the truth. It was late by then, no not that he had waited for me or something after his break-up. But late before I could make him realise about his feelings. “I was set on fire”, he had said to me when I danced with a friend. Inside somewhere, I knew how much he loved me (only back then) His eyes, they mesmerised me, so much that I could talk about the effect the whole day. But now these talks seem just like an undigested piece of food. Why did I fall for these things? Why did I love him? etc etc were few questions which could have frustrated me, but I knew one thing for sure~ I do not regret it. Not that I am still in that imaginary world but because they taught me lesson for a lifetime or maybe for lives to come. All of it gave me pain, so much pain that I could physically feel it for so long in my heart, pain which would like Chemotherapy (as I see it), and the sad feelings which keep coming back like Cancer. Sad feelings for the parting memories I have of him~ when he left the city we met in, when I left for the train, and the last one which he made the worst.

I know it is for the best and most importantly I know he doesn’t deserve me. I mean it when I say it coz I know it. When you’re SiXtEen, you have your first love and it’s special… I cherish those special feelings, yes I do. But when you’re TwentyOne and still not over that 1st love, it is true love. But that doesn’t mean it is the love you deserve or desire for that matter. I didn’t realise all of that sitting comfortably in my drawing room. Instead it took me tears and buckets full of tears to realise just an ounce of all that, Whisky and Vodka did for the rest.

I changed and I knew it wasn’t for good but the best was what I said to myself. There’s no hatred but what’s more important is there’s no love I have for him anymore. And this feeling of living your life for yourself not really working upon your looks for someone else but for yourself is incredibly beautiful and I love it and I love the universe and am grateful to it every moment that passes by for being so generous when I needed friends, being so kind when I had shaken deep within and being so loving when I needed love.

Love? Do I still believe in that word which almost made me stop living. Infact my faith became stronger in God and Love. And I know there will be a time again I would love unconditionally because I know it wasn’t him who made me love but this thingy which continually beats on the left. Though I am not really sure when or how, because it’s easy said than done. But how does it really matter? I know I am in love with myself, and a whole bunch of other people I know (family and friends), so why wait for that one blah blah.

P.S. I have started to admire beauty (not the right word 😛 ) around, yet again!

BITSian today and everyday!

And I paused for a moment, and it is in this very moment that I asked myself,”What if I were to actually not live tomorrow, what if I were to die tomorrow?”

(Midsem side-effects of course 😛 )

But these questions actually put me to thinking about a lot more questions that followed like, “So would I not be able to see the beautiful temple ~ The Saraswati Temple?, Would I not be able to walk those roads the ones which have created numerous memories both sweet and bitter?, Would I not be able to taste the not so yummy food at the mess table? and most of all… Would I not be able to live another day like a proud Bitsian, I have been?”

But if I die there are a hell lot of other things that I would not be able to do, other than being BITSian… “Exactly!!!” I just realised how much I have become accustomed to this tag, this place, the people, the roads and of course the “Tower of Pride“, as our Prof. Rishikesh Vaidya rightly calls it.

It stands proud and tall and so do we 😉

It is that time of the semester, when we the students of final year (especially the non-ghots like me 😛 ) come to realise how little more time we have got to spend on campus~ two more months which seem less than a jiffy.

They say we are taking…A step in the right direction...
But a true BITSian would know that…

Success is walking down this road a thousand times.which by the way also makes me answer my questions~ Yes I would live tomorrow and the days to come, to witness the beauty around, to take that road from the temple of science to the temple of spiritual experience and…

…to re-capture those incredibly serene views and to be a BITSian today, tomorrow and everyday to come.

bits

 Much grateful to Prof. Rishikesh Vaidya for the wonderful clicks. Admire more of them here.

P.S. I was watching Kal Ho Na Ho when you know the questions knocked the doors of the otherwise sleepy cerebrum, but thereafter it was the wind, not me! 😉

P.P.S. I am just half way through the movie, so it’s time go back to the KJo emotional drama 😉

Till next time, keep calm and stay tuned.

Of friendship and fate!

What day better than today (technically day before yesterday, when I actually started writing 😛 ) to share the glimpse of four friends who happened to each other by good fortune. And the wind by my side happened to have blown across three of them. 20140609_220237

Took me quite an amount of convincing to finally get her clicked, she who is driven by her passions. She loves to spend most of her time at a workshop of her college “Ashwa” (the one I mistook to be her boyfriend, well may be not 😛 )  which designs racing cars. Aspiring to become an IAS officer someday, Diksha Bhagat is that friend amongst the four, whose childish acts make them laugh, shout and yield the best friendship.   Next in line is TNG, as I have known her before my recent encounter with her in Bangalore. About Nidhi, well my quote from an early blog post (Shades of a woman, the colourful ones!), best describes her. It goes like:

“She is calm, she is gentle, she is the ocean of love;
Try harming what she loves and she’ll turn you upside-down and down-above”

She cannot stand even one ounce of dust or mismanagement in her room. And guess what? She shares her room with Diksha, the IAS lady who hardly cares about stuff on her bed or in wardrobe for that matter. (No offences, nothing personal! 😛 )
So how do they manage together???  Friendship my friend…

They belong to Ranchi, but never happened to cross each other’s paths untill they entered this city, Bangalore. Do I need to say, FATE it is… From what I have heard Aditi Arya, the one at the left happens to be the girl who is “the mummy” at the 3 BHK flat where these four fuse up. They say she cooks awesome, and is that goody-goody girl who is loved by all and cares for all.

                                           “Aap na ekdum chu**** hain!” I ain’t saying this for sure. Surprised you will be to know that the girl in the right, yeah the one who symbolises cuteness, (for most people & +1 on that from me) said these words very casually when I… uh, cut that.

I heard it right from her friends, studd only she is 😉 Any slang couldn’t be said in a way better than she does.

“Jaise ho, waise hi rehna”, most say so, least follow. Chabi Gupta comes in list of the least. She knows best what needs to be done to get the best DPs & the best party looks.

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Phew! Thank god that they landed up by each other’s side in the pictures, which also had other people (To whom, I apologise to for cropping off, by the way it was the wind not me! 😀 😀 ) On that note, we shall take our leave now (me and the wind!).

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